The Lightbulb effect!

Ever had an epiphany? Ever been sitting or walking and suddenly a lightbulb goes on?

I was heading home from a long day of lectures, a two and a half hour trip, not to mention having to walk home from the station, which takes about thirty minutes. On this trip home, it was raining and the landscape of the northern coast of Ireland was passing by, moody and unyielding and as I was looking out of the window a lightbulb went on. Of course I have had similar experiences before, having been writing from a young age, but never really as bold as this occasion. If you are a writer you will understand how it feels when you suddenly meet a new character. It is an incredible moment and you become a little transfixed if not a little awed. I was met with my main character, Eveline also known as Celestine. She was unlike any other character I have had the good fortune of meeting. She was a force to be reckoned with and her looks alone where a little unnerving. It is a difficult thing, to try to explain these moments to someone who doesn’t completely understand them and if I am being honest, sometimes you as the writer have to analyse yourself and your mentality.

This Celestine had a story to tell and over the next few months, my head was filled with it. How I managed to keep my university marks high whilst trying to sort through this new story still confuses me. When I wasn’t writing essays, I was filling notebooks with Celestine and her story. And in time I hit a wall and stepped away. The story was huge, her world complicated and in truth the whole idea of having to channel all of it into a story petrified me. I put it away for a good six months, concentrating on my university work instead. I always walk away from an idea and if it runs after me, then I know it is an idea that needs to be instilled into a story. And so, Celestine and her story ran after me and when finally I had finished university I began to write. 

With a gap year to fill, I filled it with my new book series. I suddenly for the first time, realized the sheer work Tolkien faced when writing his own trilogy and I felt the weight of such an investment. I was forced to make a decision. To either dive into this world or to fill my year with other interests. This series felt too important to simply discard in favour of something else and so after years of developing Celestine’s world of Unas and the characters, I got to work.

Writing a novel, especially a fantasy novel is incredibly hard and time consuming. It is also a lonely occupation and as well as their being incredible perks to such an endeavor, there is too pretty dreadful cons. When I say lonely, I truly mean lonely. Your characters, their stories and worlds really become an obsession and you do lose sight of the real world. When you are out walking, you’re walking with your characters. When you’re listening to music, your syncing it to your story, however crazy this sounds in my case it is very true. When you’re watching history documentaries etc., your thinking to yourself, well how would this work in so and so’s world?

Your life becomes consumed and at times this is great! How incredible is it to have this whole other world that only you know about? How amazing is it to be able to create languages, maps, ancient sites and so forth? At times, I feel like the cat that got the cream. At other times, I feel the sheer immensity of the project and feel physically sick and anxious. What if I mess it up? What if I have been given this story and character and mess it all up?

How do I find perspective and keep my sanity?

After a year of re writing my first novel twice, I came to a sudden realisation that a whole year had simply passed by and I had spent most of it at a desk as the seasons came and left. I felt a little cheated if truth be known, but as the realisation of all that had passed dawned on me, I stepped away from my desk and really looked at all the notebooks, maps, drawings etc. and asked myself, was it worth it?

Yes.

Despite the sheer determination to get the novel written and written well, I had accomplished the completion of my first book in the series. And with it, I too had grown as a writer and person. Most of my time, really sixty percent of my time is used in research. And when you are researching it can become tiring and mundane and at other times it is exciting and inspiring. I may well have spent a year sitting on the same chair at the same desk, but I, quite unaware of it at the time, had been educating myself and my characters. Standing away from all the work, I realised what one could accomplish when the lightbulb effect occurs. I also realised the sacrifices you are willing to make to see that idea come to life.

And so, if you like myself are struck with the lightbulb effect, I urge you to at least consider it in detail. It could alter your life in a significant way and you may be better for it. If you wish to write a book, do it. Don’t do it because you wish to make money or you wish to find fame in this fame hungry world we live in. Do it because you as a writer want to delve into your characters world. You may not sell dozens of books and the journey from conception to completion may be arduous and filled with pot holes, but I assure you, it is worth it in the end, if not just to write a book but to also find out more about who you are as a person. 

It is a real test, writing a novel and if you can do it, it is a testament to yourself. The very tools needed to write a novel are tools that can be used in other areas of your life as well. The ability to be able to see something through is huge, the ability to concentrate on seeing that project through is indispensable and the sheer fact that you accomplished something you never truly thought possible is a testament to who you are as a person and it will give you a new found confidence.

The most important thing to take away from writing a novel is in my opinion this: To be able to accept your failures with grace and to face the obstacles head on. When we stumble we can choose to either stay cemented to the ground or to lift our faces and rise up onto our feet once more.

Thousands of ideas penetrate our minds every day, imagine how you could change yourself and the world if you were to grapple with just one? That isn’t to say the journey won’t be hard and pressing, all journeys are long, tiring and hard work, and you will always have to ask yourself if it is worth it? And if it is, then surely all the pain along the way is a means to an end?

Iseult x